Saturday, May 31, 2003
=*= To Be Loved or To Love Someone =*=
i was talking to david last night..and he learnt something new from a book he borrowed from the library about life.i think the book taught him how to say out all his feelings before i reply him anything.i muz admit that method is quite good.anyway he said this:
"helo eunice, you may be having doubts why i wish to try to chat in this way with you cause i actually have many things to tell you but when you ask me something i will only think of few things to reply,i hope this conversation technique learned from the book can make it useful for us,earlier heard that things over your place aren't going too well recently....is your mum still finding difficulties for your dad? but glad to see that you can fulfil your promise as in never log in often,these few days when you aren't online.i mostly is just listen to songs, wait a while, morning, afternoon, evening.sometimes at night 1 - 2am, and then sleep till afternoon.my enlistment is 17th this month, after that, wont be able to see you already,but weekends i think can come back home,after holding your hands which is so long ago,i can still remember how it feels like, to give you security, to accompany you home on the dark lonesome road.starting like you said,we are too rush to have a relationship cause we were feeling lonely,and then you experienced lots of things than me.later on you meet a guy bennie and i was having critical hits,i wish i was bennie,as time goes by, i slowly learn that as long as you're happy, i'll be happy too,then i realise i just wish to give you everything again,i feel like you've matured a lot more since the last time i was with you..so i wish to do whatever i can do to prove to you about my sincerity to accompany you in this life time.certainly wish to reach out to hold your hand and then just lovingly be by your side.i dream of it every so often.. really..maybe this is just a dream..i really do love you lots and i've been waiting all these months etc.even when you told me you have a boyfriend i also wont leave you cause i dont want to stop seeing you.i was like becoming more stupid stupid everyday only...when you love bennie i do support you too,as long as someone can give you love and joy, it doesnt have to be me.i also not asking you to become my girlfriend desperately,cause i see and realise more things already,there's more to life than plain love and relationship,there's care and happiness.i actually felt so happy when you messaged me.i was thinking 'eunice isnt online again'..but no matter how i feel, i know i will be waiting for you.i just wish i could enter your life once more, to give you the secure feeling again."
i had gastric pain so i told him i got to go.den when i put my icq from offline to invisible.he send two messages to me
"heeks.. : ) you log in le,welcome back eunice.its probably morning now right? hope you have a nice sleep last night.are you feeling better nows?" he prepared a message for me to read so when i'm online in the morning i can read it.i noe he will treat me nice and good..but if i accept him..i would feel like i'm using him to forget bennie..i dun wanna stead with someone when my heart is still with someone else.dun wanna hurt him..i guess u guys are right..i hafta forget bennie or else my love life will be sad...cos no one else will be able to enter my heart..i hafta open it to welcome someone else in...but if on one hand is a person u love but he/she doesn't love you...on the other hand is a person who loves u a lot...if u were given a chance..will u choose to love that someone who doesn't love you or to be loved by that someone who love u a lot?..which option will u guys choose? some people will choose to love someone..though it's hard and hurting but juz one little thing that person say or do,it's like everything to you..every little thing represents a little hope..i saw theresa's blog and saw what her frend said to her
"i noe tt u like to love instead of being loved, but sometimes being loved is very xin fu de..coz tt special one will treat u wif all his heart,ai yi ge ren shi tong ku de..u put all ur heart n soul to like this special one.. but u neber noe if he's doing it the same for u..he might accept u cos he like being loved but at the same time he might haf another special one in his heart." i find it quite true..but theresa and me are people who will choose to love right sasa? i'm sure many out there will choose to love too...how about you?
=*= Song Playing: Fan Wei Qi - Qi Cheng =*=
Eunice @ 8:57:00 PM
+♥♥♥+
Friday, May 30, 2003
=*= R.Kelly - If I Could Turn Back The Hands Of Time =*=
How did I ever let you slip away
Never knowing I'd be singing this song someday
And now I'm sinking sinking to rise no more
Ever since you closed the door
(Chorus)
If I could turn turn back the hands of time
Then my darlin' you'd still be mine
If I could turn turn back the hands of time
Then my darlin' you'd still be mine
Funny funny how time goes by
And blessings are missed in the wink of an eye
Why oh why oh why should one have to go on suffering
When every day I plead please come back to me
(Chorus)
(Bridge)
And you had enough love for the both of us
But I, I did you wrong I admit I did
But now I'm facing the rest of my life alone
(Chorus)
I'd never hurt you (If I could turn back)
Never do you wrong (If I could turn back)
And never leave your side (If I could turn back)
If I could turn back the hands
There'll be nothing I wouldn't do for you (If I could turn back)
Forever honest and true to you (If I could turn back)
If you accept me back in your heart, I love you
If I could turn back the hands
(If I could turn back) That would be my will
(If I could turn back) Darlin' I'm begging you to take me by the hands
If I could turn back the hands
I'm going down yes I am (If I could turn back)
Down on my bended knee yeah (If I could turn back)
And I'm gonna be right there until you return to me
If I could turn back the hands
(If I could turn back) If I could just turn back that little clock on
the wall
(If I could turn back) Then I'd come to realize how much I love you,
love you, love you, love you, love you
If I could turn back the hands
Eunice @ 7:43:00 AM
+♥♥♥+
=*= Stupid =*=
skipped my maths lesson todae and went carousel for lunch with sam.wanted to get money from the atm machine after that cos we wanted to go for a coffee at fast eddy's but i ran out of money after eating lunch.so i insert the card into the machine without realising that it was the wrong way up...den my card got stuck in the machine and it wouldn't come out..what's worse i called up the bank and they tried to shut down the machine but it couldn't cos my card jammed the whole machine.so i had to leave the card in there and report to ANZ Bank tomorrow.sam and i stood in front of the machine trying to get the card out..we looked as if we were robbing the machine and looked even like idiots telling people that my card is stuck inside and then see the smirks and laughter as they walk off.what a day...
todae is the 30th of the month..and if bennie and i were still together..it would have been our 19th month anniversary but we are not..we broke up for about 3 months already.buddy was right.."dun be stupid and wait for someone who doesn't love you" i tried to forget him and even had feeling for another guy but that guy broke my heart as well..he told me he was juz playing with me...*sigh* so disappointing.after all the trying-to-forget i realise in the end..i still love bennie the most.no one can replace him in my heart.maybe it's really time for me to move on and really try my best to forget him..
"Bennie..maybe u're right..it's time for me to forget you to move on with my life.loving someone who doesn't love me is no use...can u promise that u won't forget me? can u promise me that u will remember the memories we once shared together? can u promise that u will remember me as the girl u once loved so dearly?...i love u...this is probably the last i love u i will say to u in my life..i hope i will meet u again in my next life..so i will noe how to treasure you more..if i meet u again...i won't let u go anymore..wo zui zhong ai de hai shi ni..miss you...please take care of yourself"
i noe he won't be able to read all these..but i realli do miss him a lot..i'm sure nobody can replace him in my heart..though i will meet others in future..but nobody can replace bennie...*sigh* it's so hard to forget someone u love..so hard to find a simple love....i guess i can't do anything now but to learn to forget him...buddy told me this "u must try to forget him if not your love life will be sad.." i guess so...thanx buddy...memories will stay with me forever...sometimes i think the worst thing is losing ur memory cos u will forget all the sweet memories u and ur loved one once shared together...i gotto go now..feeling so down...i'll be alright soon...
=*= Song Playing: Bon Jovi - Thank You For Loving Me =*=
Eunice @ 6:43:00 AM
+♥♥♥+
Thursday, May 29, 2003
=*= Stucked =*=
sam asked daisy to move out of his house by one week's time.cos i saw daisy crying when she walked out of her class and sam told me he has done his job.*sigh* i'm stucked between them two.on one hand i agree with sam cos it's his house afterall and he can't even walk around when he want to cos there's a couple in the house.jason and daisy are also not very considerate at night.they switch the tv on so damn loudly sam can't even sleep or study.sam say he dun dare to go home sometimes cos all he does is juz stay in his room the whole day.he dun even dare to step out of his room.on the other hand,i feel really sad for daisy.though she realli disappoint me with her actions and all that but i still treat her as a friend.i'm sure if jason noes that sam asked daisy to move out he will oso quarrel with sam.i realli dunno what to do.i'm stucked between daisy and sam.they are both my frenz and i dun wanna side either side more.i juz hope that the four of us will go back to how we used to be.we seemed to have splitted into two groups.jason and daisy..sam and me.*sigh* this is juz not good.i juz hope i can stay neutral towards this issue.but i seem to be the two-headed snake.i hate to be in this kind of situation.all the while i knew why sam was so pissed at daisy but when daisy ask me i will say i dunno cos i ain't supposed to say anything.and now this is happening.somehow feel that it's my fault.i shud have told daisy what was happening.but i oso didn't dare to cos i scared it will hurt her.i did hinted her some stuff but i didn't exactly tell her what was going on.*sigh* cos sam didn't wan me to tell anyone.he's feeling so lonely after since jason and daisy got together cos he's being ignored.that's why he calls me everynight now to talk to me.if i tell daisy all he told me i'm gonna hurt sam.so i was stuck in between two of them.it's all too late now.i juz hope i can say sorry...
=*= Song Playing: Jim Brickman - Love Of My Life =*=
Eunice @ 2:53:00 AM
+♥♥♥+
Sunday, May 25, 2003
i'm so bored..so i decided to blog a little.well, went to sam's house yesterday.when i reached there,i could sense the atmosphere was a little wrong..sam didn't looked happy either.so i didn't talked much.then when jason went to the toilet while daisy was somewhere else..sam asked to go to fast eddy's to talk..he say he need someone to talk to.so i drove him there.however,on the way there,jason called and say they wanna go as well.so i drove back to pick them up.we sat in our seats when we reached fast eddy's but we were unusually quiet so i decided to break the silence and it did worked.yeah then we came home.sam and i sat at the balcony talking..we talked from 1130pm till 3am..talked about a lot and luckily he felt better after talking.regarding jason and daisy..itz juz too sudden i guess.they dun even noe each other well.and to me and sam,jason himself also very wei nan.but he can't possibly reject daisy when daisy hold his hand and all that right?from our point of view..daisy seem to be the one initiating.i asked the both of them separately if they are together but both of them say dunnoe.den i asked jason den what's with the holding hands and all? he told me he can hold hands with my frenz too.den he went to hold sam's hand. *lolz* crazy guy. yeah so i dunnoe hey.can see jason not very willing as well.so i dunno what's going to happen next.what's worse is yesterday daisy pulled jason into her room.i dunno what they were doing.but they weren't in there for long.so yeah..but nobody noes what they did after sam went to sleep and after i went home.so yeah.to me i dun think daisy has exposed her real self yet.in front of us she's acting like an angel but i'm sure she is not that simple.there's another side of her that we all dunnoe about.yesterday her mood can change suddenly cos her cat ran out to the balcony and didn't wanna come back.she suddenly shouted and got angry.i was like..hmm..what the hell? and she's very good at "sa-jiao" in front of jason.that totally turn us off hey.hair all stand.
anyway check
this and
this it's two people who like each other so much..they are so in love with each other although they are not a couple.they call themselves the frog and princess.maybe from the fairytale.i noticed their blogs quite some time ago.quite cool.it's always nice to love someone and to be loved in return.all the best to all couples out there =)..
=*= Song Playing: Yuan Yao Fa - Qing Ai De Ni Zai Na Li =*=
Eunice @ 1:05:00 AM
+♥♥♥+
Friday, May 23, 2003
=*= Love or Friendship =*=
went to school today but only daisy was in school.so during our break we headed to sam's house to look for jason and him.*sigh* he's quite upset....dunno what to do about him.that's cos there's a ting-a-ling between jason and daisy..and daisy had moved into his house but after she moved in she has been extremely touchy towards jason and they are acting like a couple.sam's not mad at that but since they have been lidat they totally neglect/ignore him.they are in their own world.and another thing is that jason already has a girlfriend and his girlfriend is in malaysia.yes,a long distance relationship.anyway as i was saying..he got a girlfriend already but he seem to be interested in daisy too.it's realli irresponsible.i've been in a long distance relationship..and i noe u need a lot of courage and trust to maintain a relationship.but he's doing this to his girlfriend now..i feel really sorry for his girlfriend..being hidden from all these.he's really flirting a lot with daisy man..i shud say they are both flirting.but it's juz not right.it all started with daisy i guess.sam had witnessed things that had happened at home and said daisy was the one who started it all..she started touching his hand and lying on his shoulder or lie on his leg and all that.and knowing guys..they can't resist temptation.i guess he fell for her as well.but it's realli unfair to his girlfriend in malaysia.don't u guys think so? since then,jason doesn't really talk to sam anymore..to think they have been frenz for so long..jason and daisy seem to be in their own world.i asked daisy todae..asking if she and jason are together but she say no.jason said no when sam asked him as well.but we dun believe.if u can see their actions u would really noe how would sam feel.a friendship ruined by a girl.it's sam's house but he's being ignored by his frenz.he said he seem to be invisible at home.so maybe i would go over and accompany him.he started to talk rubbish today..what go home eat panadol and drink coke.yeah i was getting a little worried.but i didn't noe he really did it.i asked jason to pass sam two panadol tablets.but i didn't noe he had already passed it to him.den i saw sam drink diet coke.but i didn't noe he drank diet coke with the panadol.den he went into his room to sleep.*sigh* dunno what is he thinking.hope he call me later la..den maybe go over and accompany him for awhile.
saw stephanie todae too! *waves to stephanie* she went to buy chicky rice.still considering if i shud go meet them tonight.i think i shud be going but not for too long.depends if sam calls me.*sigh* i myself can't even solve my own problems..i dunno how can i help him...sorrie...okie guys..it's friday..have a nice weekend..i will update later..see ya..
=*= Song Playing: Liu Rou Ying - Wo Deng Ni =*=
Eunice @ 2:22:00 AM
+♥♥♥+
Thursday, May 22, 2003
=*= Zombie =*=
i'm a zombie!! whee!! a zombie!! how nice...*sighs* things still the same..was in the car with my mum yesterday and we end up quarrel a little bit about her and dad.well,i dun wanna give a damn anymore.i'm sick of everything.if she wanna talk to me at least talk nicely why say until like the blame is on me? why muz so angry? damn it..i can't be bothered anymore.went to cut my hair yesterday,so short.so ugly so er xin..got back my chemistry test yesterday and results were good..38/40 that's about 95%..yeah i'm happy but i stuffed up my economics test today.didn't had enough time..shit..all the studying all the effort...arghz..wasted..bloody hell..maybe it's not the amount of time that i shud blame on..maybe i shud blame it on myself for lossing my concentration.i guess i hafta start studying for exams soon..not much time to waste on anymore.. gonna help sam with his studies soon as well..he needs help and i told him i will try my best to help him.he's nice too..he bought lunch for me today..bought a pie for himself and fried rice for me...den i bought a cup of soup and shared with him.he's such a nice friend isn't he? anyway, as i was saying..i'm gonna teach him mathematics first cos that's the subject i'm best in.gonna make muffins for the rest on maybe saturday or sunday so i guess teaching starts on the day i go to his house..really got no mood for anything now hey...sorry stephanie...cos i dun think i'll be meeting u guys tomorrow...realli no mood...but then again..see how lar...maybe i will go..depends on my mood. skipped my calculus lesson and came home early today as well..got no mood to go for that lesson i'm feeling so lethargic...so decided to come home and have a rest..
look what my ex boyfriend,david did for me.it's a webby for me...*sigh* he's nice..i feel so guilty so bad for hurting him one time after another by rejecting him everytime he asked me to patch..it's been more den a year and a half since we broke up...but i'm juz too afraid..cos he got a tendency to scold me anytime.and i can't stand his jealousy problem...dunno..let nature take its course ba..dun wanna say anything..got no mood for anything either...even relationships..i'm sick of it as well...wait till i feel better ba...=) see ya peeps...update tomorrow again
=*= Song Playing: Daniel Chan - Zhun Wo Ai Ni =*=
Eunice @ 12:07:00 AM
+♥♥♥+
Friday, May 16, 2003
=*= A Puppet =*=
Kasey Chambers - Not Pretty Enough
Am I not pretty enough? Is my heart too broken
Do I cry too much? Am I too outspoken
Don't I make you laugh? Should I try it harder
Why do you see right through me
I live, I breathe, I let it rain on me
I sleep, I wake, I try hard not to break
I crave, I love, I've waited long enough
I try as hard as I can
Am I not pretty enough? Is my heart too broken
Do I cry too much? Am I too outspoken
Don't I make you laugh? Should I try it harder
Why do you see right through me
I laugh, I feel, I make believe it's real
I fall, I freeze, I pray down on my knees
I hope, I stand, I take it like a man
I try as hard as I can
Am I not pretty enough? Is my heart too broken
Do I cry too much? Am I too outspoken
Don't I make you laugh? Should I try it harder
Why do you see right through me
Why do you see, why do you see
Why do you see right through me
Why do you see, why do you see
Why do you see right through me
Why do you see, why do you see
Why do you see right through me
Why do you see, why do you see
Why do you see right through me
You played me like a puppet.i was attached to ur strings.all u had to do is move them and i will follow whatever u wan me to do.every action every word i said was all controlled by you.u knew i had enough,cried so much,on the verge of losing myself once again but u still decided to play on.why didn't u let me off earlier?why did u go on hurting me,toying with my feelings.i believed everything u said..but it was all fake.it was stuff that u said to comfort me.i can't believe i'm such a fool..how can u do this to me...i'm utterly disappointed in you.wo zhen de kan chuo le ni.u noe who u are...i dun wanna mention ur name here,dun wan u to lose face.but please,u played me,dun go on playing other girls.dun break their heart like u break mine.enough is enough.concentrate on ur studies instead.u're not bad though u played me.u're still a good person in my eyes.i said before...if there is one million people in this world and they all think u're a bad person,i will be the one in the million who will be the opposite.remember that,there is still me.though u made things worse than before,i can't put the blame all on you.there's nothing to blame you for.the heartaches were all brought upon me by only one person, myself.i have only myself to blame on.i won't put the blame on anyone else.i juz can't believe i can be so easily replaced...in juz a week.maybe i never had a place in the first place.juz take care of urself.dun fall sick again alright? drink more water,eat more fruits,rest more,dun sleep too late.i give u all my best wishes in everything u do.
now it's time for my daily updates.went to sam's house with jason and daisy yesterday during our break to watch vcd.it's an old show called "San Chun Lao Shi". bought this vcd when i was in sec 2.watch it with my frenz at wong's house.if i'm not wrong.remember mingli?i bet u do.it's the ghost name " Chu Ren Mei" .i bet u're smiling in front of ur computer now.thinking back how we used to laugh at the ghost in the toiletbowl. alritey. den went out for dinner with them at City Garden Chinese Restaurant.jason and sam did the ordering while daisy and i juz talked.the food was quite good actually.thanx to them.i was very full cos they kept taking food for me.thanx guys.den we wanted to go Famosa Cafe to drink bubble tea cos u can get to watch taiwan gameshows or drama in that place but it was packed unfortunately by people from our school.so we decided to juz go buy bubble tea from Easyway and then go back to sam's house to watch vcds.i lend them "Bai Jia Zi', a hongkong drama series.so they were watching but it's in cantonese.i can barely understand what they are talking or laughing about.so yea..quite boring.but it's alrite.left his house at around 11+ pm cos they were going to The Church,a clubbing place.
i dunno what to blog about again.the feeling's gone...i better go now...sorrie peeps..miss u all...*Hugs*...time for a cigarette...
=*= Song Playing: Kasey Chambers - Not Pretty Enough =*=
Eunice @ 11:19:00 PM
+♥♥♥+
i'm numbed...everything has been worst den ever...i feel so heartbroken...i'm leaving...shud i isolate myself again? why do things lidat oways happen to me.......i'm feeling so weak...hey frenz...i love u all...forever...
Eunice @ 9:30:00 AM
+♥♥♥+
Tuesday, May 13, 2003
=*= Stressed =*=
juz came home from school awhile ago after sending jason & sam home.having a calculus test tomorrow.am i ready? well,do i look as if im ready? no im not.i am not ready.im starting to lose concentration.can't u believe it?i was drawing on the sheet of paper my maths teacher gave out todae.and i wasn't listening at all.all i did was stare at the whiteboard daydreaming away or sms-ing jason when he juz at the back of the class.yeah,we were both bored.well,u can't blame us.the whole class wasn't listening as well.cos the teacher can't seem to talk properly todae.oh btw,i'm talking about a relief teacher.yeah.came home,dad started telling me about my mum.venting anger on him cos he dunno the Singapore HDB telephone number.i was thinking *duh* my dad's not god.how the hell would he noe,mum? but i juz kept quiet.remained silent.that's what i do everyday.silence became my friend.my best friend.
went for a movie last nite with Jason,Sam,Daisy & this other girl/guy.sorrie,i can't differentiate her.she looks like a guy and also looks like a girl.they told me she's lesbian.wow~not bad.but i'm ont interested.went to watch "Fat Pizza" crappy movie.wasted my $9.50.it wasn't funny,it wasn't good.it was C-R-A-P.yesh that's the word to describe it.headed to Sam's house before the movie and guess what! he cooked dinner.hmm,not bad for a guy.i didn't taste the food though,didn't feel like eating.i'm smoking a little too much these few days.even smoked in school.i guess it's the stress.exams coming in 7 weeks time.gonna start studying soon.but i need my concentration back.oh god,pls...give me my concentration back.i can't get to sleep everynight and my eyebags are getting heavier and heavier.blacker and blacker.what do i resemble? a panda! not a cute one though.an ugly and pathetic looking panda.yup! that's me.
talked to buddy,jiaming,yesterday evening for a little while.he updated me with his newest news and i updated mine to him.we shared a lot of our ups and downs.he's always there for me.come to think of it,i really feel that my bird jie,elizabeth, and my buddy,jiaming, seems like they are my special guardian angels send to me from god.or whoever.they oways seem to noe how i feel,to understand how i feel and noe how to encourage me.but i got other frenz too.i cannot say they are not.they were there for me too.and i really appreciate and treasure them.*sigh* i'm feeling so disconnected.why aren't things getting better? i can't stand living under this roof sometimes.i guess i can never find that happy family back again.personal problems + family problems + friendship problems = sad + stress + loneliness. wat a formula i had created.anyway,i dunno why i bother to put up a smile in front of everyone when i'm actually crying inside.maybe i dun wan people to pity me,i wanna show them i'm strong. but i'm actually quite a weak person. *pulls hair* contradicting isn't it.weak and strong.strong and weak.
had a dream last night.i dreamt of Matthew! yes yes..that good looking guy in my class...it was funny.he spoke to me in chinese and he ask us all to go to a car expo.*duhz* stupid dream isn't it?but it was good yesterday in economics.he smiled at me.haha.maybe cos i was smiling at him?? maybe he wasn't even smiling at me.i'm an ugly and pathetic looking panda remember? okie anyway, the dream was nice.i can't believe i dreamt about him.what the...? but the dream was disrupted but the ringing of the alarm clock.let's see if we can continue that dream tonite...time to go study for my calculus test now...feeling down again...down down down......downnnnnnnnnnn....*slaps herself*
Eunice @ 10:52:00 PM
+♥♥♥+
Sunday, May 11, 2003
=*= Life sucks =*=
hi..too much things have been happening recently.i feel like im being strangled.i feel realli stressed up and unhappy.family problems.*sigh* where is that happy family i used to have.my mum and dad has been not on good terms again.yes again.i've never seen tears in my dad's eyes before.never seen him so frustrated before.never seen him ram a chair into a table before.he told me "think i go back singapore better" how did i feel? i feel tormented inside.i'm serious i do.why do things get so complicated again? weren't they getting better? why is all these happening again? is history going to repeat? zhenyi told me a horrifying news about my brother last nite.i can't believe my ears.*sigh* my family is tearing apart.wad am i going to do? my results are once again deterioting.i'm feeling so lost.i'm feeling so scared.i cried myself to sleep again last night.i dun wish to go thru what i been thru last year.it's so tiring.i really can't take it if history is going to repeat again.i feel my life tumbling down again.david,my ex boyfriend was there for me last night.he is still very nice to me.he comforted me ask me not to be scared cos he's here for me...he wants to take good care of me.but i dunno why my feelings still won't grow more den a friend.*sigh* thanx david,quanwang,my bird jie last night.
decided to mia from irc for awhile.i've been too affected by things happening online.been making too many people unhappy.my frenz all seem to come from irc.i dun even haf any reality frenz anymore.juz a few.this shudn't be happening to me.this shudn't be my life.i dunno wad i do without irc.i may survive i may not.but it's probably better for everyone to cool it off..*sigh* sorry to people i have made unhappy..sorrie from the bottom of my heart.u noe who u are..okie i guess this is it...take care my dear frenz..i miss u all.i might update my blog more often den i go irc.so keep looking back on this site k? oh yeah..my channel #shattered_dreams is finally registered. but thanx to my buddy jiaming who will be taking care of my channel when i'm away from irc. thanx buddy~ u're the best~ *hugs* alrite..i gotto go now...see u all~ *muackz*
=*= Song Playing: Lin Jun Jie - Ci Pang =*=
Eunice @ 6:42:00 AM
+♥♥♥+
Tuesday, May 06, 2003
=*= Start of Term 2 =*=
itz been quite some time since i last update this blog.anyway,itz the 2nd day since the start of 2nd term.boring as i can say.been sleeping at like 4am,waking up at 2pm everyday during the holidays.juz can't adjust my time back to school time.when i was at my first lesson yesterday,i missed my bed sooooo much.couldn't wait to get home and take a nap.here i am wide awake in front of the computer typing away.todae i was really quiet in school.u noe in life there are some days when u juz dun feel like talking to anyone,u juz wanna be alone,quiet,peaceful.i was lidat today.juz didn't feel like talking to anyone,even my economics teacher noticed.she came to me and said "eunice,u're really quiet today aren't you?" i juz gave her a spastic smile.yes i am crazy.
anyway,sam was in school todae.he tot i was really angry with him about the incident during the holidays but i wasn't.i juz didn't feel like talking to anyone.wrong timing sam.sorry.during the break in economics,he went to buy lollies and ask me to eat them.trying to cheer me up with lollies.haha.do i look like a little girl who can be cheered up with gummy babies lollies? anyway,it was thoughtful of him.thank u..didn't realli do much during the weekends.went supper with stephanie on fridae and den out with Tanni Jie on saturday.we actually wanted to go ktv but dunno what changed our minds.she was thinking of going this weekend.but seriously hey,i'm broke.cos doris,aileen and i are involved in this diet pill thingy.and i haf to pay $30.and then if the room costs about $200 on ktv night,it's gonna cost me another $30-$50.man,i can't handle this money thingy.maybe i shud take a rest this saturday and tell jie i dun wanna go anymore.maybe ask her to plan for the week after.
my self-esteem is starting to boost up a little recently.people are not so bad as they seem afterall.there are people out there who realli dun care how u look.they still will be frenz with you.maybe cos i didn't meet these people earlier so my self esteem was hanging down low in the past few years of my life.really doesn't bother me much now.maybe for the time being.watched "TV 3 Jian Ke" during the holidays.itz quite an interesting show actually,especially the section when lovers suspect and spy on their partners.isn't trust the most important thing in a relationship?why r they spying on their partners then?where is the trust?if there's no trust then wat's the point of being together?watching so many cases they had spied on so far,is there really true love?does everlasting love really exists?why is it that people nowadays can't be together for long already? they can cheat on their partners after being together for a few months or even 7-8 years.why is it that when people decided to settle down and get married,they realised that their partner is cheating on him/her.it's lucky that she found out earlier den later.but on the other hand,u get couples that had been together for 6-10 years still happily attached to each other.so what is love? is it juz an illusion or does it realli exists? it's too contradicting.is there really forever?do u believe in fate? i used to,but now i do not know anymore.to me now,i'll treasure anyone that walks into my life.it may be hurting,it may be sweet but u never know till u open ur heart and let them in.it's worth a try afterall,or else u would never noe who is the one that can really make u happy and give u happiness.alritey time to sleep now.see ya all.
=*= Song Playing: Liang Jing Ru - Wei Wo Hao =*=
Eunice @ 10:33:00 AM
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